I am a go-getter— I love sitting down in my office, with a freshly brewed, iced latte and CRUSHING my to-do list. I want to see small businesses win more than anything, and I know the work my team and I do can make waves for our clients. As this to say, the word “no” was basically foreign to me for a long time.

Here’s where that led me: I was overworked, overbooked, and I wasn’t enjoying running my business. I wasn’t able to show up for my partner, our teen, my friends, my family— I felt a responsibility to help as many clients as I could, which meant I was saying yes to everything. Understanding the power of saying “no” was transformative for myself, personally and professionally.

Side note: If you are overbooked or find yourself answering the question “how are you?” with “SO BUSY”, it’s probably time to hire some help and grow your team. This, paired with strategically saying ‘no’ to life-changing. Seriously.

Here are a few reasons why saying ‘no’ is important, along with a few examples to help you get started.

1. Saying “no” to the wrong thing(s) makes you available for the right thing.

Not only are you doing your potential client(s) a disservice by saying ‘yes’ to something you’re not excited about— you’re also robbing yourself of a future opportunity that could be a better fit for you. This requires a little bit of more effort to uncover what you’re truly excited about and what is just status quo.

For me, it involved doing an audit of all of activities, professional and personal, I was dedicating time to and rating each item on the scale (this even included family time!). Putting these items on paper, seeing how much time they were (or were not) taking up on my calendar was unsettling in the best way— I was able to see where I needed to make changes so clearly.

2. Be polite, but be firm with your “no.”

It’s important to be polite— you don’t want to get off on the wrong foot just because you don’t have capacity right now. It’s about mindset— this person is asking for you/your help/your involvement because they want what you bring to the table! It’s extremely flattering and who wouldn’t want that! Keep this in mind when drafting your ‘no.’

Be kind, and don’t give the impression you’re unsure or you may change your mind. “No” doesn’t need to be a negative conversation— offer whomever you’re writing to alternative solutions, if appropriate. 

Do not feel the need to over-explain your why— highlighting your focus on being intentional and being honest about your capacity is sufficient.

Here’s how to say no when asked for a favor and you are unable to commit or complete the request. (As a small business owner, this happens pretty frequently!)

Hi [Name],

Great to hear from you! Thank you so much for thinking of me and coming to me with this! I am at capacity at this time, and unable to assist you with (insert requested favor here). I wish you the very best— please keep me in mind for future requests, as my availability can change throughout the year.

Have a wonderful week, [Name]!

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

3. Make sure your “yes” and “no” responses align with your short-term and long-term priorities.

Most of my clients are working to undo the ‘people-pleasing’ learned through early stages of business development. And I get it! Saying “no” can be tough, but your priorities should guide your actions. Take some time to assess your priorities.

Have you been saying “yes” too often?

Have those things you’ve said “yes” to been the right things for your business at this time?

Determine what is best for your business, your team, and your mental health moving forward— prepare yourself to set boundaries by saying “no.” I recommend doing this on a quarterly basis to ensure your decisions align with your goals.

Here’s an example from Toggl on how to say no to a project, and referring your potential client to someone better equipped to take on their project at that time.

Dear (INSERT NAME HERE),

I received your email regarding the (PROJECT)— It looks like an awesome opportunity and I’m glad you reached out to me. Thank you so much!

Unfortunately, I’m going to have to decline because my schedule is booked until (insert timeframe here). However, I know another individual who could be an excellent fit because [list reasons / expertise]. Here is a link to their website, if you’re interested.

Thank you once again for contacting me! Please keep me in mind for future projects, as I would welcome the opportunity to work with you.

Sincerely,

(YOUR NAME)

Saying “yes” to everything will lead to burnout fast— Practice politely saying “no” to the opportunities that don’t fuel you and leave yourself available for opportunities that excite you and your team! Nothing is worth compromising the quality of your work or your health!